Transcript of a hilarious walk home

Me: K I need you to try and walk straight with me

Dbag: Where am I?

Me: We’re on L****** it’s just two more blocks fool

Dbag: We’re at Hogwarts?

Me: Wha?.. sure we’re at Hogwarts but walk straight. Left, Right, Left…who are you calling?

[Dbag…fiddles with phone lands on the M’s randomly selects M***]

Me: You know you’re calling M*** right? She has a midterm tomorrow ok whatever go for it. Can we try to walk at the same time?”

Dbag (to the phone): M***!!!!!! I’m at Hogwarts!!!!!!!!

Wait wait wait…Right…Right …Right”

Me: [laughing] what the Fuck. Ok Left, Right Left You know you’re still on the pho….

[unmarked white camery rolls by]

Dbag: M***! It’s the police! We’re getting arrested! Call my mom. Her name is C**** ****! She loves me because she thinks I’m going places [mumble mumble] M*** call my Mom it’s C**** M Z G H B SH T K R

M*** don’t call my mom call mEeeeeee….Where am I? talk to A***

[thrusts phone to me]

Me: Hey beezey, I’ll see you later.